My Tina Dream

Last night, for some strange reason, I had a dream about Tina Fey. Only...she wasn't famous. She'd still done 30 Rock and stuff like that, but it was on hiatus or something. She was hanging out at my apartment one night when I got in. Obviously, I'd never met her before and I was pleasantly surprised to see her there, but rather than be nervous and speechless, I just rolled with the punches and started flirting with her as if she was my girlfriend. Her reaction was, shall we say, compliant, as we then proceeded to make out in this recliner that was in my room. Can't remember if she kept her glasses on or not. I know she didn't keep other things on. One strange thing is that her chest wound up being a lot smaller than I thought it would be. I didn't mind it too much, because she was still smoking hot and did an awesome job scratching that itch deep in my soul for companionship and intimacy. She was all woman.

So for that, I shall post the lyrics to one of Primus' greatest songs..."Tommy the Cat".

"I remember as it were a meal ago"

Said Tommy the Cat as he reeled back to
clear whatever foreign matter may have
nestled its way into his mighty throat.
Many a fat alley rat had met its demise
while staring point blank down the
cavernous barrel of this awesome prowling
machine.
Truly a wonder of nature this urban predator.
Tommy the cat had many a story to tell,
But it was a rare occasion such as this
that he did.

"She came slidin' down the alleyway like
butter drippin' off a hot biscuit.
The aroma, the mean scent, was enough
to arouse suspicion in even the oldest of
Tigers that hung around the hot spot in
those days.
The sight was beyond belief.
Many a head snapped for double - even
triple - takes as this vivacious feline made
her her way into the delta of the alleyway
where the most virile of the young tabbys
were known to hang out.

They hung in droves. Such a multitude of
masculinity could only be found in one
place...
And that was O'malley's Alley.

The air was thick with cat calls
(no pun intended),
But not even a muscle in her neck did
twitch as she sauntered up into the heart
of the alley.
She knew what she wanted.
She was lookin' for that stud bull, the he
cat.
And that was me.

Tommy the Cat is my name and I say unto
thee...

"Say baby do you wanna lay down by me"